What the f**k is up with Houston?

I'm passing through, stop for lunch and my car gets broken into and my work laptops taken. I need a police report for work so I call the police, WAIT 5 FUCKING HOURS only for no one to come. And now that I filed a report over the phone you want me to pay to get a copy of the report? And you don't fax or email reports? What the actual f**k?