There’s a correlation between Jack Easterby and Rasputin

I’ll admit I’m not a fan of this team, but I feel for you guys. No fan base deserves to go through this s**t and you guys may have the most incompetent front office in the NFL (and trust me I’m a Bears fan; I know a thing or two about incompetent front offices).

But anyway, hearing about this Jack Easterby, I decided to do some research. And by “research” I mean all I did was look up a few things on Google.

But anyway, I have a feeling that the Sith Lord secretly ruling over the Texans have some startling similarities with the infamous Rasputin. For anyone that does not know, Rasputin was an controversial “mystic” that gained favor with the Russian royal family because The Tsar and his wife credited his “spiritual powers” for saving their son’s life.

Now you may be asking me what the hell does this s**t have to do with football? Well that’s where the similarities matches

1. They both are highly religious cult leaders that claimed to be helping people spiritually.

2. They used their religion/spiritualism to gain favor with the Tsar (Rasputin) and Cal McNair (Easterby)

3. They used their favor to gain massive influence and. Rasputin became the de facto head religious figure in Russia (kinda) and Easterby essentially controls the Texans’ front office

4. Easterby’s and Rasputin’s rise to power subsequently cause controversy and mass hysteria. Both Russia and the Texans began to collapse around the same time.

5. Under both of their influences, there was/is a massive sense of dread and paranoia between the Russian people and Texans’ fans regarding them.

6. Within the Texans’ organization and Russian palace, Easterby and Rasputin were known to spy on people. Rasputin kept eyes on the Tsar’s court and Easterby on Texans’ players and employees.

I’m sure there’s a lot more if I dig deeper. But suffice to say is that it seems that the Houston Texans had unintentionally(?) repeated history by hiring a shady pastor into their front office. If history continues to repeat itself, expect this team to become the first communist sports franchise as you guys violently overthrow ownership (partly because of said shady pastor).