Texans Sitcom
Nick: So how’s the report coming along?
[Jack, reading the back of a sugar packet, looks up to Nick]Jack: I should’ve been an architect.
Nick: What?
Jack: My life could’ve been different if I was an architect. People like architects.
Nick: People like architects?
Jack: Of course people like architects.
Nick: Do you know any architects?
Jack: Of course I know architects.
Nick: You don’t know any architects.
Jack: You think I’m incapable of knowing an architect?
Nick: Why would you even know an architect?
Jack: To discuss architecture with.
Nick: You discuss architecture, with architects, on a regular basis?
Jack: I lead a rich social life, which includes many an architect.
[Nick, leans back in his seat and makes a hand gesture to Jack]Nick: Ok, name one.
[Laugh Track]Jack: What?
Nick: Name an architect.
[Jack begins fiddling with the sugar packet in his hand]Jack: Davinci.
[Laugh Track]Nick: Davinci?
Jack: Yeah, Davinci architect-ed buildings.
Nick: What buildings did Davinci architect?
Jack: He did that leaning tower.
[Nick leans closer to Jack]Nick: Let me get this straight, when you said you know architects, and I asked you to name one, you said, Davinci, who you claim is the architect of the leaning tower of Pisa?
[Jack puts the sugar packet down and puts his shoulders back.]Jack: Yes.
[Nick grabs his coffee and goes back to his normal sitting position]Nick: Well who could argue with that?
[Laugh Track] [Nick takes a sip from his coffee]Nick: How’s the report coming?
[Jack makes erratic hand motions]Jack: You know, I don’t feel enough respect is being paid to all the responsibilities I carry.
Nick: Oh, really?
Jack: Yes, I have a lot on my plate, and nobody respects it.
Nick: Maybe you should delegate it then. Take the load off.
[Jack chuckles and gestures to himself]Jack: As much as I would love to, Nick, and believe me, it is quite the burden. Everything would fall apart. I mean, could you imagine how the organization would run without me?
[Jack chuckles again, grabs his coffee and leans back in his seat]Nick: It is hard to conceive…So you’re not going to do the report?
Jack: I’m doing the report. *scoffs* I do ALSO have a congregation that calls my attention from time to time.
Nick: Do they like you?
[Jack’s smile turns to a grimace]Jack: They’re supposed to.
[The diner door swings open quickly and Cal bursts through. He sees where Jack and Nick are sitting and stumbles quickly towards the booth and sits next to Jack]Cal: You’ll never believe what just happened!
Nick: What?
Cal: I got this new game Nick. It’s called Galgun. *His voice gets high pitched* You shoot Japanese high school girls with your Love Gun.
[Cal starts shaking with excitement. Laugh track.]Jack: Cal, what did I tell you about hentai? It’s a sin.
[Cal looks bewildered at Jack]Cal: No, no, no. The girls keep their clothes on, it’s very tasteful. Although, some of the guys online have been saying there’s ways to…get a little more action out of them.
[Cal winks at the group. Laugh Track]Jack: What guys?
Nick: He’s been on 4-Chan recently.
Jack: Aren’t they degenerates?
Cal: You know, those guys get a bad rap. They actually tried hunting down a couple of pedophiles. Hey! You guys want to come over and play some?
Nick: You’re supposed to be approving the staff budget.
Cal: Ah! *He waves his hand, dismissively, at Nick* Just use last year’s.
Nick: What was last year's budget?
[Cal and Jack look at each other.]Cal: 100?
Jack: No, it was closer to 300?
[Nick looks at both of them with disdain]Nick: 300?
Jack: Probably 350-ish.
Nick: You guys are idiots.
[Laugh track, fade to black] submitted by /u/jessejames182
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