Nobody knows what they’re talking about for how to cook grits

I’m new to Texas. Moved here less than a year ago. Never had grits before. I went to breakfast at Another Broken Egg and tried the grits, and hey they’re pretty good.

So now I want to make them at home. Skip the Instant crap for obvious reasons, and I care about what I eat so I go for a very basic and plain variety from H‑E‑B. Lamb’s Stone Ground Yellow Grits. Seems as plain and simple as it comes.

The directions literally say to boil 1/2 C grits and 1.5 C water for one minute, cover, and wait for the water to absorb. The voila it’s done.

Except no the f**k it’s not.

That spoonful was the most disgusting sand-textured bullshit I’ve experienced. I don’t know what sadistic asshole that works over at Lamb thinking these directions would be hilarious to add to the box, but holy f**k.

So fine, I’ll look up a recipe. But guess what, nobody can agree on how to cook stone ground grits. Everywhere gives this horseshit recipe of like 4 C water to 1.5 C grits boiled for like 30 minutes and it’s done.

I’m now on my 6th cup of water for these ever-thirsty asshole grains of corn and 45 minutes later it’s still a chunky mess.

I’m about to boil 10 cups of water for a cup of grits and let it boil overnight because holy s**t this shouldn’t be this hard.

At this point I assume real stone ground grits are like dried beans and need a soak and a very long cook time. Why in the hell I can’t find that info anywhere blows my mind, ESPECIALLY FROM THE BOX FROM THE FACTORY.

Anyway, how do YOU cook your grits?

EDIT: On second thought, f**k grits. I’m making rice next time.