Let’s pretend, each neighborhood in Houston is a person, and there’s a huge party.. what is each "person" doing at the party?

Stole this from r/NOLA, tbh.

Humble: keeps leaving voicemails that they're about to head that way, ends up stopping at Chili's on the edge of Houston, gets shitfaced on strawberry daiquiris, and heads back home before 9:30, because downtown feels so far away and woulda gotten lost anyway