Feeling lonely in Houston – need real advice (not just “pick up a hobby”)

22/m working immigrant I have been in North America for a few years now — I am Ukrainian, lived the last two years in Canada before moving to Houston. My English is fluent, and I also speak Russian, Ukrainian, and Arabic. On paper, I should be able to connect easily, but in real life it has not worked out like that.

Every time I talk about feeling lonely, people tell me the same things: “go out,” “join a group,” “pick up a hobby.” And I do those things, but here is the truth: it feels like everyone already has their own circles, their history, their people they have known for years. Walking into that as the “new guy” is tough. You end up on the outside looking in, and it is draining.

It has been the same story for me in Canada and now here in Houston — trying the surface-level stuff does not translate into building real friendships. I am not looking for “just keep yourself busy” type of answers. I want real stories from people who have actually started over in a new city and figured out how to break through that wall.

How did you go from being new and isolated to actually having people you can call on a Friday night? Was it through work, a specific community, volunteering, or just sheer luck? What really worked for you?

I do not just want to “do activities” to pass the time. I want to build real connections, people to hang out with, people to feel like I belong here with. If anyone in Houston has gone through this or is even feeling the same way now, I would genuinely appreciate your advice — or even just a conversation. My DMs are open too.