BoB and Hopkins meet together one day in a Whataburger off I-10…

BoB: dips a handful of fries in spicy ketchup before shoving it into his mouth

BoB: Look bro, I love you dawg and everything you’ve done for this team. You’re highkey gonna be a Hall-of-Famer one day for sure

Hopkins: I know

BoB: Honestly speaking tho, just between you and me, the Texans are lowkey fucked w f**k ass McNair sucking that Easterby cock

Hopkins: I know

Hopkins: takes a big ass bite out of a sweet and spicy bacon burger

BoB: I’m thinking of doing something big Nuk. I’ve been thinking bout it like crazy. Talked it over w my wife’s boyfriend and he doesn’t like it… But honestly f**k him and his ginormous shlong w perfectly proportioned girth.

Hopkins: steals some fries from BoB, dips into his preferred sauce of bbq, and consumes them nonchalantly

BoB: I’m gonna trade you to the Cards for some Old Ass EDM DJ and a pack of skittles

Hopkins: caught off guard, raises an eyebrow Oh word?

BoB: You deserve the best big homie, Easterby’s Church of the Texans will only hinder your greatness

Hopkins: steals some more fries, but now dips it into BoB’s spicy ketchup before taking another 2.4 bites out of his sweet and spicy bacon burger

BoB: I’m gonna tell Easterby that it was cuz of you having baby mamas

Hopkins: Nah bruh, please don’t, { insert baby mama’s name here } will freak tf ou-

BoB: ITS FOR THE BEST NUK!!!

dramatic silence

a teardrop drips slowly down BoB’s left cheek and into his double chin

Hopkins: Damn aight homie, for sure jeez

BoB: little sniffle I’ll take all the blame for the Texans tanking. Hopefully that will push every player that deserves better, like JJ, Dwat, Mathieu, Clowney out of this team and into a better one. big sniffles Y- Ya- Y’all really some of the best players football has ever seen ginormous sniffle

Hopkins: Thanks bruv, Imma miss D4 tho

BoB full of emotions, naruto-runs out of Whataburger

THE END