Author: /u/QBin2017

You, like most sane people, love Tex-Mex. Unfortunately, you move to a small town up north for work and the only thing they have is a Burger house called Bergman’s (known for copying your credit card number) and a Landrys.

One day your favorite Tex-Mex chain comes to town that you’ve been bragging about and you can’t wait to take everyone there. You’ve been wearing the tee-shirts you got from the locations back home and been telling everyone they have to go.

You know the Franchise is good, the owner is a rich dude on the other side of town and they hire a Manager named CoronaBill. They have the best Queso you’ve ever eaten and amazing beef fajitas.

When you finally get to go with friends you find out that CoronaBill thought it would be a good idea to replace the world famous, best you’ve ever had, Queso….. but he didn’t just lose that, all he got in return for the best Queso you’ve ever had was…..pump cheese????? It’s cool though, b/c he got it for a few pennies cheaper than the world famous Queso. You don’t go to Tex-Mex ONLY for the Queso, but this probably just ruined your favorite part of going.

Then you start looking at the finer details of what CoronaBill has done. To replace the Queso he brought in some pretty good salsa from WI, but it’ nothing exciting and costs him $2.99/cup…seems like a lot to spend, and isn’t it free just for walking in? This guy doesn’t seem to know how to control food costs.

You start paying attention to smaller things and start getting worried. The waiters are wearing disposable safety gloves they bought in Cleveland that cost them $6/pair and you’re not sure they work. His best host, the charismatic DJ Reader just left and no one seems to care, b/c it seems like an easy job to replace, but they put some guy up there that has been washing dishes for the last few years.

CoronaBill was able to bring in 1 decent waiter named Bradley, but he can’t cover all those tables by himself…. CoronaBill has that covered too though, he traded a couple really good assets to secure wildly mediocre employees from Texas Workforce. They have tags that say Juan and Jorge and you’re excited for some authenticity but then you realize racist CoronaBill just put two Indians in a sombrero and thought we wouldn’t notice.

The only thing keeping people coming after all this mess is the amazing fajitas. You have to have amazing fajitas to have any chance of keeping the doors open on a Tex-Mex restaurant, and they do have some great fajitas. But they are using Top Sirloin for the beef, and it’s protectively wrapped in very high end tortillas. CoronaBill thinks if he gives you good enough fajitas you’ll ignore all those garbage condiments b/c Sirloin makes everything better. And he’s right…..the sirloin makes it all worth it. But as you watch everyone devouring and loving the Sirloin you develop a sweat and want to scream STOP LOVING IT….he can’t afford Sirloin much longer. Look around, he’s leasing a building for WAY too much, this was confirmed earlier by the owner of McLain’s pancakes next door. You know within a year or two we are going to lose the sirloin and get it replaced with cheap ground beef….ugh.

Result : You love Mexican food and nothing can change that. The fajitas are enough to keep me coming since I have no other options, but the love I have for it is gone. I only wear the T-Shirt while doing yard work, and I’m not telling anyone to go anymore. CoronaBill has ruined Tex-Mex, and the Franchise owner won’t do anything about it because it stays full and he doesn’t know anything about it anyways. So yeah, I’ll still go eat terrible Tex-Mex due to lack of options……….and the fact that half the $$ I spend on those Top Shelf JJ-ritas goes to charity.

If we have Roby, Ryan, Johnson Jr, Conley and Hargreaves, I think I would be comfortable drafting a CB in the 3rd.

Logan Ryan was a bit of a Playmaker (5 sacks, 4 INTs, 3 Forced Fumbles). He has decent speed, but not electric.

Aqib Talib and Jimmy Smith are about all that’s left out there until Brashad Breeland or a prove it deal for Trumaine Johnson.

DW4 will still have:

– Fuller (for 6 games), Stills, Cobb (4th best Slot WR last year), David Johnson as a WR, and Duke Johnson, plus Fell/Akins/Warring and a solid O-line.

If O’Brien makes the Playoffs b/c of DW4’s heroics, then he’s saved in the media even though we won’t advance. It’s going to happen.

So far in just a few weeks :

– FAILED to keep home grown, versatile, lunch pale crew memeber and interior pass rusher DJ Reader (Cobb and David Johnson’s salaries total more than what we will likely get)

– Took the 2nd highest paid RB’s contract who has has ONE 1,000 yard season in 5 years and is busted beyond repair, and is paying him $18M over two years.

– Traded away our Hall of Fame WR IN HIS PRIME. For…………NOTHING.

– WAAAAAY overpaid a Browns Safety by so much the Browns are laughing at US.

– WAAAAAY overpaid an aged, busted WR in Randal Cobb with a 3 year deal that has $18M guaranteed. (only 1 year in his career he made more $ than this per year average, and that was only b/c of a front loaded bonus).

– Failed to land a WR to replace DHop.

– Failed to land a FA Pass Rusher when you had DHOP as trade bait.

– Reportedly FAILED to complete a deal for more of DHop to the Pats b/c they told them a little too much about why they were letting him go (wanting $20M+/year).

– Reportedly FAILED to trade away Will Fuller to the Pats. Would have freed up space and actually been able to replace WR2 via the draft in Round 2. Fuller instead will be our WR1 for the 3 games he plays before injury.

– Had leaked his cursing tirade on a FAN who dared to be the first person to ever shout “You Suck” to a player, team or coach. Way to compose yourself GM.

Per 610 host (who I trust) and NFC Coach said the coaching room saw our trade and led to all out laughter at our organization.

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I’m sorry, but we should be chanting for him to be fired every minute of every game.

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Worst off….this is being excused (by some) by framing this as “Why” DHop was traded instead of the insulting pile of dung,that he was traded for. Even ND Kalu and Cecil Shorts saying “we need to see the Plan before we ……” NO WE DON’T. There is no part of any plan that is “let’s strategically only take a 2nd instead of a 1st and 3rd for Dhop”. No plan, nothing will make up for it. Not even if we had signed Amari Cooper, b/c we STILL could have had Amari AND a 1st. Now we have neither.

Rant over…..for now.