So, You’re Telling Me There’s A Chance – Texans #1 Seed Path

It's a ridiculous longshot, but the Houston Texans still technically have a shot at the #1 seed.

The odds are insanely slim, like Dr. Strange 1-in-14-million slim, but the Kool-aid tastes good, goddammit. Here is what has to happen for us to be in the one universe where the Texans get a bye week:

Week 16:

Bills beat Chargers
Buccaneers beat Jaguars
Cowboys beat Dolphins
49ers beat Ravens
Raiders beat Chiefs
Texans beat Browns

So the (likely) Stroud-less home team getting the W against Cleveland and the Raiders bumping the Chiefs are both big asks, but Kansas City looks more mortal than ever, the Raiders just dropped a 60-burger on (an admittedly bottom-tier) Chargers defense, and I believe in our Lord and Savior Case Keenum. If all of this somehow comes to be, then we have….. a less than 1% shot at the #1 seed, according to NYT. But there's still hope! The Texans would need the following to happen the next week:

Week 17:

Bengals beat Chiefs
Bills beat Patriots
Dolphins beat Ravens
Texans beat Titans

Is it too much to ask that the Ravens lose out? Probably. Do all of these outcomes seem possible? Absolutely. Which leads us to the last week of the regular season, where the Texans would need:

Week 18:

Bills beat Dolphins
Steelers beat Ravens
Texans beat Colts

OK, taking Steelers over Ravens is one of the bigger asks in this whole scenario, but fluke-winning the last regular season game to preserve Tomlin's winning-record-record is PEAK Steelers.

TL;DR – Texans gonna be the one seed, no questions will be taken at this time

(edit: said Raiders instead of Ravens at the end, fixed)